Bribery Works

From time to time, I get reports from Emery's school indicating "Emery had a hard time using her listening ears today."

Normally, I ignore it. Troubled times like this typically pass without much pomp & circumstance. But starting late last week, the notes came home like that everyday. On Tuesday morning, at my insistence, Emery said to her teacher, "Miss Jackie, today I brought my listening ears, and I am going to use them." Miss Jackie seemed happy with that, so I kissed my daughter and went to work.

Sure enough, when afternoon pick-up time came, Emery had another note. A pen had scrawled on the note with unusually thick lettering, offset by hand-drawn asterisks, "*Emery is still having trouble using her listening ears*"

Now, this is very frustrating. We know she's a good kid. Why is she misbehaving at school? At dinner Tuesday night, David said, "Emery, why aren't you using your listening ears at school?"

Emery replied with furrowed brow and a voice of concern and contemplation, "Well... The problem is I'm having trouble going to sleep at night. And my listening ears are just coming right off my head and flying in the air. So when I wake up in the morning, I don't have them and I cannot take them to school with me."

This morning, after much thought and consideration, I tried a new tactic: Bribery. After a solid week of failing to use listening ears (who the hell ever came up with that phrase anyway?)Emery got to make a special trip to QuikTrip on the way home, choosing for her treat a small bag of crunchy Cheetos. She shared it with her brother and her friend, Alex.